Nick Hogan, currently serving an 8 month jail sentence for almost killing his best friend John Graziano in a reckless car accident late last year, turned 18th years old yesterday … his father, Hulk Hogan, presented him with a birthday cake … his mother, Linda Hogan, presented him with a skateboard … his sister, Brooke Hogan, was a no-show and the state of Florida penal system presented him with an upgrade from a juvenile detention center to real, big boy jail. Happy Birthday, Nick:

Nick Bollea celebrated his 18th birthday today by being transferred into Pinellas County Jail’s Central Division — where he will reside in the direct supervision housing section which hold around 70 adults and one correctional officer. Hulk told us Nick was a “janitor.” We’re told Hulk Hogan, Linda Hogan, Bubba the Love Sponge and bunch of Nick’s friends sang “happy birthday” to him over a video monitor. After that, they were allowed to visit him two at a time. His sister Brooke was not there.

OUCH! I wonder why Brookie dear wasn’t interested in visiting her jailbird bro on this benchmark birthday. Meh, I guess it doesn’t matter … at least Hulk’s friend and radio host Bubba and a handsome gentleman in a yellow t-shirt with the fetching shaved head mullet came out for the festivities — that’s got to count for something. Mama Linda Hogan also came out for Nick’s birthday but she arrived separately from the Hulk group … she also brought along a birthday gift for her locked-up son:

What the eff Nick Hogan is supposed to do with a skateboard in jail, I’m sure I have no idea … but I guess it was a nice gesture nonetheless. Actually, it’s not even that Nick could enjoy or even handle his shiny new skateboard. I think it was more like, “Look at your gift! You can touch it after you get sprung from jail!”

Lord … it sounds like it was a fun party for everyone … except for Nick. After the party was dunzo, Hulk and Linda Hogan each gave interviews to the assembled media outside (watch TMZ’s interview footage HERE) which is really the perfect way to round out a birthday party for one’s jailed son.

UPDATE: Brooke Hogan wants the world to know that she was in attendance at her brother Nick’s jailtime birthday party, she blogs:

uhh…there’s such thing as a back door you jerks. In conclusion…That goes to show you that you can’t believe anything you watch on TV or read in magazines. Cause people will make up BS without even knowing the facts. Hey Media! Why don’t you gather facts, check them, and then give the public the truth? That might work. Oh no…I forgot. You make too much money telling LIES. Needless to say, I WAS there for my brother on his birthday because he is my best friend and NOTHING comes before family.

I suppose it’s possible she used the “back door” to go into the jail, where her parents happily paraded themselves in front of the cameras on their way in and out. But what I want to know is … did she get him a gift?

[Photo credit: Splash News; Source]

Hulk Hogan, in an attempt to seem repentant and explanatory, paid a little visit to the Larry King Live show last night in order to discuss matters dealing with his son Nick Hogan’s incarceration (for almost killing his friend John Graziano) and all the bullshizz that has come to light since. The highlight from the interview for me was the point where Hulk was explaining that it is his belief that John Graziano is now in a permanent vegetative state (which resulted from the car accident where Nick was driving) as a part of “God’s will” to make John “a better person”:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The wrestler also addressed the jailhouse tapes that were released to the media, in which Hogan and his son discuss a possible future reality show. “[Will] you get that thing lined up so the minute I walk out of wherever I walk out of, it’s there, boom?” Bollea can be heard asking Hogan on the tapes. “I just wish someone would play the two hours before, or the hour after, and please put everything in the proper context,” Hogan told King, visibly frustrated. In the conversation before that excerpt, he went on, “I was trying to keep [Nick's] spirits up, trying to get him to move forward.” Hogan acknowledged that in such a turbulent year – he and his wife Linda split after 23 years together – “it is a constant soul searching mission … for everything just to disappear on me, for my wife to file for divorce and the marriage to be broken long before that, and then the accident happened and the civil case, and my son getting put in jail … I just soul searched figuring out what could I have done. It’s just hard.” As for his estranged wife Linda, Hogan confirmed her new relationship with a younger man and denied reports that he is dating a friend of his daughter Brooke. “[The woman] that I’m dating is 34 years old and it’s not one of Brooke’s friends,” he said, “and from the reports I’m hearing, my wife is dating a 19-year-old.” But, he added, “Larry, at this point my only focus is on John and Nick. Linda has her own life, and her own agenda.”

Seriously, the Hogans should just keep their mouths quiet at this point … they only make things worse every time they talk. Today, Hogan is now apologizing and explaining what he really meant by his “God’s will” comment:

“It was like the whole world [was] crashing down on my son. Solitary confinement — most hardened criminals unravel after two or three days. Nick survived in there 28-29 days,” Hulk said. “During that period of time as I’m sitting there, 28 or 29 days, hardly any sleep, I did everything I could to laugh, to cry with my son. I was trying to help [to] give Nick some type of relief because he [was] consumed with the unknown,” Hulk continued. “I was just trying to explain to him that it’s ‘God’s hands’ or it’s ‘God’s will.’ That’s what people have said for thousands of years and did I say things wrong? Yes. I am I sorry.” Hulk admitted he made some of the comments recorded during phone calls, including discussing a future reality show for Nick, to “protect him physically because his mental state was unraveling.” And while he knew the calls were being recorded, Hulk also expressed his disappointment that the calls were released to the media. “This was the only thing Nick had left. This is the privacy everybody had in prison … and to have that taken away?” Hulk sighed. “I was more worried than ever about his mental state.” Hulk broke down at the end of the broadcast, and through choked back tears, said that he believed the public understood his family’s plight.

See, I think that “the public” sees his family for what they are … completely out of touch with reality. What planet are these people from? He is shocked that his son is suffering in jail? WILL SOMEONE TELL HIM THAT IS WHAT JAIL IS FOR? Can someone get a piece of paper and a crayon and draw a photo illustrating that JAIL IS PUNISHMENT? How does he not understand that YOU LOSE ALL PRIVACY WHEN YOU GO TO JAIL because INMATES ARE BEING PUNISHED FOR THEIR CRIMES. It’s not a vacation, jails aren’t there to cater to your comforts. Nick Hogan doesn’t even know the meaning of real jailhouse punishment. And beyond that, even the worse jailhouse punishment might be preferable to existing in a permanent vegetative state. I can’t even convey my disgust with this whole thing. It just keeps getting grosser and grosser. [Source, Source]

In other Hulk Hogan news, folks are now being warned that the Hulk Hogan Ultimate Grill may kill you … or burn your house down. Wanna stay alive, use a George Forman Grill instead.