Joint custody or shared custody happens when a court orders the care and guardianship of a child to both parents. If both of you have been awarded the custody of the kids, then it means taking out time to figure out the schedules, holidays, and shuffling the kids between the two houses.
Shared custody isn’t an easy thing to deal with especially when you are trying to agree on terms with someone who you couldn’t stay happy within a marriage.
The shared custody of the kids work when both parents are respectful of each other and cooperate on the terms and agreements. But you still need to follow strict rules to make sure that this works for both of you and the kids.
If you’ve been awarded shared custody of your children, here are 3 ways you can make this work for the both of you.
Never Speak Ill of Your Partner
No matter what happens, you must keep your negative emotions in check. When your kids are at your home, you must make sure never to speak ill of your ex in front of them. Even though you are pissed at your ex, your children still love him/her as a parent. So make sure to keep your feelings to yourself.
Keep Your Ego in Check
In shared custody, both the parents have to take steps and decisions in favor of the children. Sometimes this means that a partner may decide something for the child which you may not like. But if it is in the best interest of the child, let it happen. Sometimes things may not feel good to you but are necessary for the children so make sure to come with an agreement.
Make a Customized Custody Arrangement
Since both of you will get to have children stay at your home every week, you must come up with a customized custody arrangement. You’ll have to talk to each other and come up with an ideal schedule.
According to experts, the best-shared custody arrangement plan is either based on a 2-2-3 plan or the 2-2-5 plan.
- 2-2-3 plan. In this plan, you must agree that the child will stay with the mom from Monday to Tuesday and from Wednesday and Thursday with the father. Then from Friday to Sunday with mom. This schedule can flip the other way around.
- 2-2-5 plan. In this plan, the kid will stay with the mom on Monday and Tuesday, and with dad on Wednesday and Thursday, and then alternating from Friday through Sunday between the two. For example, one week with the mom and the next week with the dad. This is the perfect schedule if your children are older since they usually have their own schedule and obligations to deal with.
Shared custody always feels hard to deal with at first. But if you can agree on terms with your ex, then everything becomes easy for the both of you.